Speaking to young women recently got me thinking about the importance confidence and self-esteem and the impact it has in our lives and personal achievements. Self-confidence vs self esteem. Which one is which and why are they important if at all?
Let’s start by defining the two. Source Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of The Emotions
To be self-confident is to trust in oneself, and, in particular, in one’s ability or aptitude to engage successfully or at least adequately with the world. A self-confident person is ready to rise to new challenges, seize opportunities, deal with difficult situations, and take responsibility if and when things go awry.
Self-esteem is our cognitive and, above all, emotional appraisal of our own worth. People with a healthy self-esteem do not need to prop themselves up with externals such as income, status, or notoriety, or lean on crutches such as alcohol, drugs, or sex. To the contrary, they treat themselves with respect and take care of their health, community, and environment.
Understanding your own worth puts you in a better position to dream big, aim high and go after the success you desire. It also helps you recognize and walk away from people trying to take advantage of you.
Why is it that so many women don’t value themselves? Why do they seem to put themselves down and prioritize others instead? Is it due to external influences, people and experiences or internal emotional turmoil? Or both?
Do you have solid A-game self-esteem? Would you describe yourself as a confident person? I know we all have those days when our confidence needs a bit of a boost. Some of us are still on their personal journey towards discovering their own self worth. So here are my 5 tips on how to do just that. Get your game face on, step out into the world and achieve all those goals you’ve set!
Step away from the negativity
I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before but it really cannot be stressed enough. Walk away from those damaging relationships and people who constantly put you down or make you doubt yourself. You should also learn to shut down those negative thoughts in your own mind. You know what I’m talking about! That voice that insists you’re not pretty or smart enough, the one that puts you down for not being thin or fit enough. Teach your mind to churn out positive thoughts instead of putting yourself down daily. Read motivational quotes and stories, unlearn the negativity and self-affirm every morning by saying something positive to yourself in front of the mirror. Also, stop being negative towards other people. Bringing someone else down doesn’t elevate you, it only makes you smaller.
Surround yourself with mentors and high achievers
Aim to surround yourself with people who motivate and encourage you to achieve your best. Seek out mentors in your field and learn from them. Read about successful people and learn from their experiences. Build friendships with people who have similar goals and aspirations and who are working hard to achieve them. Build each other and you’ll be amazed just how far you’ll get in life once you surround yourself with positive influences.
Master your craft
Take time to learn and keep growing your knowledge in your field of expertise. Then learn about other things too. The more you know, the more confident you’ll find yourself when asked to talk on an issue, do a presentation at work, or network and mingle with other smart people at an event. Knowledge is power, pure and simple. Read, learn, research, consult, grow. With time you’ll find yourself being considered the “guru” or “go-to-person” in your field. Persistence and consistency will get you to the top of the food-chain! Bringing your confidence and self-worth with it.
Stop with the comparison
You are the only YOU there is in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE! Just think about that for a second…
So why do you compare yourself to anyone else?
In this world of social media and keeping up with everyone’s lives, it is very easy to lose yourself and feel left behind and inadequate. My advice is that you stop comparing yourself to anyone else but yourself. You can never be anyone else. Focus on your own life, the challenges you face and overcome, the growth and changes you’ve made on your journey so far and what more you’d like to accomplish. Instead of running the rat-race against other people, aim to beat your own best and keep achieving your own goals. Challenge yourself to keep improving. Create vision boards and to-do lists and celebrate yourself every time you tick something off on there.
Dress the part and SMILE!
Start spending your money wisely when it comes to your clothes (and underwear!) Always aim to buy the best quality you can afford and dress for success. Nothing works as an instant confidence boost quite like a well put together outfit that fits well and makes you look stunning. You’ll not only look great but also feel great. Even on the worst of days, you’ll find yourself cheered up and revving to go! It’s not about buying expensive things. Work within your budget but shop smart and get clothes that flatter your figure without being overly revealing. Simplicity and comfort are key. Plus the compliments you get will serve as a little extra boost to your confidence as well! 🙂
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